Throughout my travels I've had time to sit back and evaluate my life and debate a number of issues that I consider essential to finding one's true self. The following quandaries were posed amongst friends (foreign and domestic) in a sincere effort to determine what is truly important in life. The results have been suppressed so as to not sway the opinion of the reader:

Would you rather...

Take a submarine ride around the world with the FSU cheerleading team...
or a solo taradactyl ride around the world ?

Have 36 parrots…
Or 16 cats?

Have four toes removed…
Or have a rainbow tattoo around your neck?

Be 11 feet tall…
Or 31 feet tall?

Get free pizza for life…
Or have a pet ghost?

Czech please

Czech me out

Me: Hey guard.

Guard:

Me: So this is where the President lives?? Where's the doorbell, I want to talk to him?

Guard:

Me: Hey guard

Guard:

Me: So a pirate walks into a bar, and he has a steering wheel attached to his crotch. He walks up to the bartender and asks for a drink...

Guard:

Me: ...the bartender hands him a drink and says "do you mind if I ask what's the deal with the steering wheel attached to your crotch?"

Guard:

Me: ...and the pirate goes, "yaaar, it drives me nuts."

Guard:

wow, these guys are good

My Nephew Mikalosh

Last night I hung out with my nephew Mikalosh (pronounced mee-ka-loash). The guy has been alive for 18 years and I just today learned of his existence. Evidently pops sowed an oat or two pre-migration.

I made him call me uncle all night.

RIP

Possibly my last post

Today I'm taking our entire diamond inventory with me on the plane to Prague. I have over 200 diamonds on my person as I type this sentence. I'm no expert on matters of international commerce, but I have to call into question the legality of this move. I mean, this is Thailand... Didn't they hang some dude for keying a car?






















While I'm at it, may as well smuggle 400 pairs of Swarovski Crystal earrings:

Pimpin all over the world

Yesterday I felt like a Singha or two, so I went to one of the nicer hotels and sat at the bar. I was trying to practice my new Thai vocabulary on the bartender and next thing I know he calls the hotel owner to come down and have a beer with me. He speaks English pretty well and we get to talking about Chuck Norris… people love that guy over here. Then he says… “You should meet my daughter”… big mistake.

Come on… you didn’t think I was going to come all the way out to Bangkok and NOT make out with an 18 year old Thai girl, did you?

Haha, I just got this myspace message from her:

hello Mike. i will send our pictures to you e-mail but have no idea what yours is. you look good in some pictures lol and look like Mr. Bean in some pictures too! but i like them anywhere i will post these to my myspace this week and will add caption under Mr.Been's son picture it will be like "Me And A Brith Famous Actor (Mr. Bean)" lol